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I just wrote that title and I feel like crying my eyes out.
It seriously feels like just yesterday I was watching Friends re-runs on bed rest in the hospital waiting for them to get here.
But now here we are. A year later. I have officially conquered the first year with twins and I don’t even know where to begin.
Today is actually their first birthday, though I am writing this a few weeks ahead of time. Mostly because I know how much of a wreck I am going to be.
I honestly didn’t think I would be like this; so emotional. But this last year has been HARD and I am damn proud of myself and my husband with how far we have come. With what all we have accomplished in this year.
We made it. The first year with twins is said to be the hardest. The transition from a family of two to a family of four is a hard pill to swallow. It was for me anyway.
But now we are here. We have gotten through the first months. The first horrible, sleepless months. We have gotten through sleep training, exclusively pumping, not making enough milk, first teeth, learning to crawl, learning to throw tantrums, baby led weaning We have gotten through it all.
And somehow we are here. Looking back at it all like a blur. I honestly couldn’t tell you half of the things that went on this past year. Between it flying by and the constant exhaustion, I hardly remember a thing.
I really only remember what I wrote about on here. Which is honestly a huge reason behind me starting Twins and Coffee; to help document our lives. I find myself going back and reading posts from months ago and realizing that I truly do not remember some of the stories at all.
Mom brain is no joke guys!
I feel like I have so much to share with you guys. So much I want to explain and help you with. But I think starting with what I have learned in the first year with twins will be the biggest help for all of you. Regardless of having twins or not, there are just some things you learn in the first year of being a mother that really open your eyes and I’d like to share some of those with you today.
Things I Have Learned in the First Year with Twins
First and foremost, let go of perfection.
Let go of the need to have the dishes done, laundry away, and even a spotless living room floor. Why? Because you’re going to run yourself dry if you keep worrying about it. There are so many other precious things to take care of over the first year with your babies. Pick those. Pick snuggles, baths, and walks around the park. If you try to clean up all day long it’ll consume you. I tidy in the morning and at night. That is it. Everything else that happens during the day, happens. Life is messy. Let it be.
Get out of the house.
This can seem impossible, but girl you need to. You need to get out and get some fresh air and stretch those legs. Even around the block, or a drive to Starbucks. Just get outside and leave the house. Especially if you are a new stay at home mom. If you need some tips, click here.
Do what you can to survive.
Somedays are beautiful. Other days make you want to scratch your face off with a razor blade. This shit is hard. Accept it and do what you can to make do. If that means no one is getting dressed today- WHO CARES! If that means re-heated mac and cheese is for lunch- that is just fine. Do what you can to get by. Say no to meeting up with friends, or ask for help. Tell them what is going on. 9 times out of 10 they will understand, and might even offer to come over and help you get through your horrid day.
Trust yourself and your mama instincts.
It is true when they say you will just know. You will just know when something is not right. You will feel it in your gut and you have to learn to trust yourself. You’re the one that knows your baby best inside and out. Trust yourself.
Keep Tylenol and Prune Juice STOCKED.
Get that shit on the Amazon Prime rotation girl. There is going to be a time where you need it, and you’ll realize you used up the last bit last week. Instead of throwing yourself into a panic and having to drive to the store with a screaming or two screaming babies, just keep the crap stocked in your cabinet.
You DO need a break. DAILY.
Everyone say it with me. YOU. DO. NEED. A. BREAK. DAILY. Just because you stayed home all day doesn’t mean you are worthless. You have needs too. You need ten-fifteen minutes to yourself daily. If you have to make it happen without help, so be it. The babies will be JUST fine. Make sure they are safe in their cribs or bouncers and take nice shower or make yourself a good, wholesome lunch. Focus on just YOU for fifteen minutes a day.
Don’t rely on soothers from the start.
This was something very important to me. My babies do not rely on anything to sleep. It helped so much when it came time to sleep train the twins and I couldn’t be more thankful of myself for not starting with binkies, blankets and stuffed animals from the start. I never did any of those things consistently, so there is no bond between one thing for the twins.
Always have an extra pack of diapers & wipes.
Again with the Amazon Prime, girl! You never know when life is gonna throw two teething babies into the mix and getting to the store becomes impossible. Keep them stocked! But if they are growing, do not open the diaper box until you need them. That way you can easily exchange for the next size if need be. And a pro tip- search the UPC code under the bar code for where the specific box of diapers is sold. That way you do not have to run all over town trying to exchange! Not all stores carry the same sized packs.
Call your mom.
ALWAYS. If not your mom, call your best friend. Grandma. SOMETHING! There are days where I just have had it and talking to my mom for a few hours while we both go about our days just helps. Helps me feel not so alone in the parenting thing while my husband is at work and she always has answers for my first time mama questions.
Give yourself time in the morning or at night without the kids.
This was a huge one for me. Ever since I started waking up two hours before the twins, I feel AMAZING and get so much more done. I personally use the time to get dressed and get blog work done for the day. It really helps me get my day started so that the first things I am doing aren’t rushing around the babies with diapers and bottles and crying and all that. I can ease into my day and I can promise you that my best days are the ones where I have plenty of time to myself in the morning.
You don’t need everything on the baby necessities list.
It can really seem like you do need it all, but honestly? You can cope. You can get by without half the stuff. Especially if money is an issue. I know it was for us. It’s not like we planned on having two at the same time. Check out my post here for how we spend little and get everything we need for the babies.
Find your mama tribe.
You know the old saying “it takes a village”? Well, it is true. So so true. I know there are so many cliches and crap that go around with mom groups, but really, I think they’re worth it. They may be filled with drama (most of the time) but I love that I can ask my big group of mama friends for their advice and opinions on things. Like when we started sleep training and baby led weaning. I needed help! I wanted all of the opinions and their favorite articles so that I could make the best decisions for myself. Plus I have made a really great group of friends through my mom tribe.
Invest in a nice, thermal coffee up.
Hot or cold, however you like your coffee. Find a good, reusable cup. Don’t waste your money on Starbucks or whatever everyday either. Learn how to make yourself a good cup of coffee and go from there.
Get in those pictures!
I wish I had as many pictures with the twins as I did just of them. I want them to have pictures of all of us. So I am totally that mom that sets up the timed camera and tries her best. I get some good pictures going that route. And of course I look funny to people walking by but hey, I want the memories. I want the twins to have these memories. I also ask my husband to snag pictures of us while we’re out and about.
Finally, the sun will come up tomorrow.
Hands down greatest tip of advice to share with you guys about the first year with twins? The sun will come up tomorrow. Everything will turn out okay. Bed time will come and you can rest. Any and everything can always wait. Sometimes the crying will get to you. Sometimes you’ll have to walk away and sit in the hallway for a moment to collect yourself. And that is O.K. You are not a failure because of it. You are simply human.
The first year with twins is hard. It will put you to tests you never once thought you’d experience. But you will get through. You will come out on top. And most importantly, the sun will shine tomorrow.
You got this mama.
If you need some more support, or simply want to chat weekly with other Twins and Coffee moms, join the newsletter down below. I promise, no junk. Just a weekly recap of posts from Twins and Coffee, as well as a Wednesday morning post each week where I talk about your questions and share with you what is going on in our home with the twins.
I would love to see you in there.
….aaaaand the tears. You’re rocking motherhood, twin mama or not! I am so honored to know you. Thank you for being such a beautiful person inside and out. So happy you survived this first year and now here you are…helping us fellow mamas out! 🙌🏻
Awe! Thanks girl! You are rocking it as well!
Amazing post! I’ve found this particularly interesting as my mum is a twin and my dad is also a twin! Apparently it makes me quite likely to have twins which is a daunting but an equally amazing prospect.
Keep up the great work — you’re doing amazing! X
Oh wow! That is a whole lotta twin! I can only imagine the anxiety that brings thinking about yourself having children one day. Those odds are high! But girl, it is so doable. If you are chosen for twins, you are chosen for a reason. That is how I see it, anyways!