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So, you’re expecting twins, huh? A new mom expecting twins?
I remember that day like it was yesterday. But it was two years ago now.
And I felt horrible.
I cried; I cried a LOT. And I felt sorry for myself. I was so far from okay with the fact that I was now a new mom expecting twins.
If you’re in that same boat, expecting twins and not okay with it, I promise you that is O.K.
It took me so long to come around to the fact that I was having twins. I’d sit and browse Pinterest and make boards for cute ideas for their nursery and outfits.
I joined every group on Facebook looking for anyone who felt the same way as I did.
But I was met with something that hurt even more. Everyone on social media seemed to be so happy and excited for their double bundle on the way. Sharing cute sayings and announcements. When all I wanted to do was crawl up in a ball and cry.
I remember thinking to myself “do they actually realize what they are getting themselves into? What crazy future lies ahead?”
And then when I was finally coming around to being okay. Being okay and accepting the fact that I was a new mom expecting twins and nothing would ever be the same again, I got sick.
Or really, the twins made me sick. My pregnancy was hurting my body. And I ended up on hospital bedrest at 28 weeks and told I might deliver at any time.
Nothing like a huge punch in the gut again, right?
I had developed pre-eclampsia. My body was working against me. I felt even more alone and like I wasn’t “meant” to have twins. It felt like a cruel joke from the world.
And the feeling hit again when I had to have an emergency C-section at 32 weeks because my doctors couldn’t get my blood pressure under control. Then again when my babies were hooked up in the NICU and I could only spend minutes with them at a time.
It felt like this for a while. While the world seemed to be working against me and making every net step harder than the one before.
But looking back now, two years later, I see something different.
To the new mom expecting twins, you CAN do this.
And you will.
Even when the world feels like it is fighting against you. Even when everything seems to be one step forward and two steps back.
You CAN do this.
You can do this because you are strong. And if anything, your pregnancy is toughening you up even more because there will be hard days.
I won’t sugar coat that.
And sometimes, the hard days will turn into hard weeks. You have to be tough for that. But you can do this.
You will make it to bedtime one way or another. Sometimes it just takes some going with the flow. You gotta take what you get and learn to accept what is.
The house will be a mess, life will be a mess, it’ll all be a mess.
But you know what?
Seeing those two infants sleeping at the same time will make you feel incredible.
Nursing both at the same time for the first time will make you want to rip out your phone to show the whole world what you can do.
Loading both of them up and getting to their first appointment all on your own will make you feel like a Rockstar.
And one day, soon enough, they’re going to give you the biggest bear hugs at the same time and your heart will burst out of your chest.
So to the new mom of twins, I know you’re scared.
You should be. I’d be surprised if you aren’t at least a little bit.
But I can promise you that all of those doubts in your head are wrong.
If anyone can do this, jeez if I can do this, YOU can do this.
You are meant for this.
Welcome to the twin mom club.
Thank you for this! 😭 I have been terrified. I am a first time mom expecting twins. I have been in a state of panic since I found out (fairly late in my pregnancy). I love my partner and I am lucky in a 1000 ways to have him, but he is disabled and I don’t know how we will cope with carrying 2! I know there is good stuff on the way, but right now… I’m floundering. So thanks again for the positive message. I’m going to come back to it time and again.
I am so happy that my message resinated with you in this way. I can totally understand how you are feeling. Twins absolutely have a way of changing things! I trust in that you and your partner will find ways to cope with your twins in ways that work with you two. Things always have a funny way of working out and I am sure you’ll find the sign before you know it.
Thank you for this!
Thank you for this! I am not a first time time mom. I have a 3 year old and expecting twins. But I am terrified as well. The idea of dealing with a toddler and two newborns seems impossible to me. This really made me feel better. I’m feeling better as the weeks pass but I am still a little scared. Thank you for your words.
This is an amazing post. I’m a nurse who had twin almost 2 years and all I wanted to do was cry. Everyone looked at me crazy for not being thankful for the blessing I was receiving. But I was always the person that when all of my nursing co-workers would ask me won’t you love to have twins? I was like heck no that sounds like a lot of work. Here I am. Thanks for being so raw and truly acknowledging your feelings. Because it is much easier to just say that everything is rainbows and butterflies. It inspires other mommas who feel the same way to speak up about their feelings.