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Having twins?
Then this is for you.
Finding out you’re having twins is a huge game changer when it comes to pregnancy, and everyone reacts differently.
After I found out I was growing two I was the farthest thing from happy, or even accepting of it.
I dove into the world of twin mom groups on Facebook to figure out if what I was feeling was “normal”. Turns out, I wasn’t. Or at least there wasn’t anyone confident enough to share that they did feel the same as I did. Every post I read screamed excitement and I felt the complete opposite. Now I am here to tell you that is 100% okay.
I walked into the clinic assuming that the biggest news of the day would be whether I was six or ten weeks along. I felt excited and anxious. And then in a matter of minutes my life took a turn for what felt like the absolute worst. I did not at all expect to see two sacs on the screen. I certainly didn’t expect to start crying so hard that I couldn’t stop shaking. Was this a joke? Is this even possible? How am I gonna to do this? How do I hold them at the same time? Feed them at the same time? What happens when they’re both screaming? How am I of all people going to raise two babies at once?! I felt terrified, upset, confused, and began thinking some very dark thoughts.
I will be honest with you, I did think about terminating the pregnancy at first. Yes, that is horrible for me to say. Especially while as I write this I can hear the two of them babbling in their sleep a few feet away from me. But at the time, I could not shake the option from the back of my mind. I felt crazy for feeling that way because it didn’t seem like anyone else in my situation felt the same. Maybe they were just too afraid to admit it to the world? Who knows. Later in my pregnancy I found that there were others who felt the same way I did at first. Knowing that from the get go would have made what I was going through at that time so much easier.
What made me feel even worse about it all was everyone else being so excited. The first thing I did (other than clean up my face) after the ultrasound was call my best friend. I sent her a picture of the ultrasound and she replied “my heart has never felt as full as it does right now”. I cried to her about how I was feeling and she laughed it off and said “Lynneah, you can do this. If anyone can do this, it’s you”. That statement is something I repeated to myself over and over during the pregnancy. Even more so with them outside of my belly. Afterwards, I called my husband, Chris, and asked him to come to the hospital because I didn’t want to be alone.
When Chris arrived, I lost it all over again. His mind immediately went to- oh god, she lost the baby. And then I pulled the ultrasound picture out of my purse and he started tearing up too. Except his tears were different. A smile quickly grew across his face and he hugged me tight. He started talking about all of the things he was excited for and began planning out hypothetical situations that would probably be our future. Seeing him so enthused about having twins made me feel even worse for the thoughts I was having, because none of them came close to crossing his mind.
I wish I would have found someone who felt like I did early on in pregnancy because I probably wouldn’t have been so hard on myself for feeling the ways I did. Whether you are bursting at the seems with excitement, or feel like the world is playing some sort of cruel joke on you like I did- your feelings are valid. Twin pregnancy is quite the ride, and yes two babies screaming at the same time is hard. But let me tell you, holding the two of them for the first time will make every single doubt in your mind disappear. There is truly nothing like it.
I cried for an hour after finding out I was having twins. I struggled and still struggle sometimes feeling like “I only wanted one more” (we have an 18month old who will only be 21months when the twins are born) Thank you for your honesty and your courage! Although I am okay with the thought of twins now it was rough going at first. Glad to know I am not alone. Glad to see someone on the other side being an amazing twin mom!
Janae,
Thank you for your feedback! You are not alone at all. There are so many scary thoughts that come with finding out about twins, especially when you were only trying for one more. Even with my twins nearing three months old, I’ll sit back and think holy crap I have twins.
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy! Holding two for the first time will be magical!
I just found out we are having twins in December. This is my first pregnancy and I’m honestly terrified. My husband is so excited and wants me to be excited with him but I’m just not there yet. Worrying about how we will financially handle this just makes me stress out. I do know that it is a blessing though. Hopefully the excitement comes soon
Heather,
I remember being right where you are. Unsure of everything, wondering why out of everyone you are having twins, how on earth you are going to manage it all. You might seem alone in those feelings but you are not! I am four months into twins now and I still have an ‘oh crap’ moment every couple days thinking ‘wow, I have TWINS’. I am not sure if I will ever get over it! But as for finances, you will be just fine. I am sure of it. I am in the works of a new article about how I afford twins on one income. And the one income is by no means a high income! Stay tuned for that post, or subscribe to have it sent straight to your inbox!
Good luck, and feel free to reach out with any questions about your pregnancy.
-Lynneah @ Twins and Coffee
Thank you for your honesty!!!! This has probably been one of the most relevant post i’ve read. I was so scared I didn’t know what to think or do. I’m 15 weeks and I’m feeling excited. They took some time and many hugs from my husband to get me here!
I am so happy to hear that my post resonated so well with you! Finding out you’re having twins is such an emotional roller coaster and coming to terms with it can take a while. I am glad your husband has helped you realize what a blessing it is! Life is going to get a little crazy, but nothing you can’t handle.
Best of luck momma!
-Lynneah
I’m scared to even say this aloud. But I feel sad that I’m having twins because I’m going to be doing it on my own. I’m not married and their dad has left me after finding out I was pregnant. The same day I told him. I found out I was having twins when I woke up covered in blood, went to the er expecting to hear that I had a miscarriage and then I heard the news of it being twins. I still don’t know what to think. I’m scared honestly and I fight with my mind to terminate or to keep going. I’m only 14 weeks and I just feel lost. I’m sorry for the long post. I’m just sad. I’m happy everything worked out for you though and your now happy.
Bree,
I can see why you would be so worried about having twins. You have a lot going on right now. But just like anything else in life, you’re going to figure it out. You’ll figure out how to find your groove with twins and you will rock at it. Us twin mommas have a special place in this world, and we were dealt the twin card for a reason. Because we CAN handle it. We are meant for it. It is scary. I am five months in and it’s still scary every day. And it’s going to continue to be. But we got this. You can do this. For some more support, look into the Facebook group Mothers of Twins. Everyone is super supportive and will help you through your questions.
Best of luck momma,
Lynneah
I wasn’t very excited either. I found out at 9 weeks that I was having twins. We were trying for one more. I have a 14 month old already. He’ll be 21 months when the twins come along. I’m scared as to how we can afford all this! I’m going to be going off work soon as I am a special education teacher and work with violent students. I’m terrified of getting hit in the belly.
Ashley,
Coming to terms with carrying twins is absolutely a hard pill to sallow. Especially with already having a little one! Affording the twins was my biggest concern as well, and honestly it still is. Check out my post with tips on affording twins! Maybe you’ll find a few ideas you haven’t already thought of!
Congrats momma!
-Lynneah
I’m so happy I found this post as I was absolutely gutted when I found out I’m pregnant with twins especially because of our financial situation. Although still only 8 weeks, I am still freaking out about the costs! My husband is definitely handling it better than I am and he’s very excited. Not sure how the next weeks till delivery are going to pan out but your post was very encouraging
I totally understand what you are going through, Aisha. I have nine month old twins and still worry all of the time! But just like anything else in life, you will adjust and move on. There is always a way and it might not be the way you intended but everything will turn out. Remember that we were chosen to be twin moms for some odd reason- with that reason probably being our ability to adapt and move forward. You got this! Feel free to reach out if you need anything else!
Hi I feel like I could have written your post. I found out on Tuesday I’m having twins. I also have a 4 year old. We had to go through fertility medication to concieve so u would Think I would b happy. I’m not. I only wanted one more and how am I goo g to afford childcare for 3 children. I need to work as my husband can’t afford mortgage on his own salary. We need to get new pram, cot car seat etc. It’s hard enough just with one. How will I cope with 3. Everyone is so happy and I feel that I will never be!!