Realistic Mental Health Glow Up Guide

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TLDR: the glow up era is BS. It’s toxic. Promotes unrealistic lifestyles that are near impossible to attain when starting from ground zero. The true magic happens on the inside. We’ll call that a “mental health glow up”. That’s where real change happens. 

But you have to start at the bottom before you can get to those otherwise unrealistic lifestyles of the traditional 5am club. This post walks you through the truths of the glow up era, its unrealistic expectations, and leads into where the real magic happens. 

If you want to change your life, this post is for you.

Why Glow Up Culture is BS

I said it. This new era of wellness is bullshit. Yes, it’s great to promote a healthier lifestyle, but it’s not great to promote something truly unattainable for the average person, myself included, starting from ground zero.

When you’re at rock bottom and looking for something to grab onto to pull yourself up, the glow up culture is enticing. I hear you. I see you. I was suckered into it as well.

I dove head first. Set all these new goals for myself. 5am wake up time. Insane morning routine. Strict daytime todos. Macros to hit. Water intake goals. Evening routine built for success.

I built the master plan life for myself. I imagined who I wanted to become and built my “new life” with it in mind.

But it backfired. 

Why?

Because I didn’t build a good foundation.

You know that song that goes, “the house don’t fall when the bones are good”? (Bones by the way)

It’s true! You need good bones. A good foundation. Otherwise the house WILL fall.

Glow up culture focuses on quick fixes. New routines that are supposed to be the magic cure for your depression you can’t seem to creep out of. The anxiety you can’t seem to shake. Apparently waking up at 5am is supposed to fix that.

WRONG. 

What will fix it? 

Looking inward. Doing the ground work. The mental work. Building your foundation.

The “mental glow up” is what will actually change your life.

What a Real Glow Up Looks Like

A surface level glow up won’t get you anywhere. Gotta drive that point home one more time.

A real glow up looks like doing the internal work that makes you glow from the inside out.

The work that helps you find your peace. Your calm. Your happy.

Those are the real perks of a mental glow up.

Being able to wake up feeling capable. Worthy. Loved. Learning to enjoy your own company.

I don’t know about you, but that’s all I wanted when I was at my lowest. I just wanted to be comfortable with my life. Feel peace. Not hate myself.

The mental glow up helps with that.

You lay the groundwork to become exactly who you want to be so that you CAN wake up at 5am and feel energized for the day. That you CAN become your own best version of yourself.

You just have to do the dirty work first.

If you’re already sold on starting your mental glow up, grab my freebie here that helps you do your own reset.

What is a Mental Glow Up?

A mental glow up is learning to love yourself enough to be able to live your dream life.

I’d say that about sums it up.

Like I said, it’s that foundation that everything can build on.

You’ll finally feel like you CAN do the things you want to do. And you will be able to stick with them because you feel worthy and capable.

You will be ready to enter the next era of your life: the one where you become your own dream girl.

But it does take work. A lot of work. A lot of digging. A lot of change. A lot of looking at yourself for who you are and not who you think you are. Facing some ugly truths about yourself.

Then comes the growth. 

Then comes feeling capable of living your dream life.

The mental glow up is your key to taking on those traditional “glow up” habits of the girls you see on TikTok and Pinterest.

Realistic Mental Glow Up Outline

If you’ve made it this far, I wish I could give you a hug. I know you are truly ready to build yourself up and make some hard changes if you’ve read through to the real steps of a mental glow up.

Let’s begin.

1 | Learn to Love and Believe in Yourself

This is where it all begins. You have to learn to both love yourself and believe in yourself if you want to get anywhere.

You have to shift your internal dialogue from “I’m so fat”, “I’m stupid”, and “I can’t do that” to “I accept myself”, “I’m learning”, and “I can try that”.

I used to be my own biggest hater. Absolutely hated myself. Talked about myself in ways I’d never dream of talking about another person.

Then came in practicing affirmations and gratitude.

Do NOT roll your eyes at me.

Do not leave this post.

Trust me that this works.

You don’t have to believe them at first, but daily repetition will change the way you think about yourself and your life. 

I haven’t had a negative internal dialogue in years at this point. All because my therapist five years ago forced me into daily affirmations and gratitude.

I had to say three kind things about myself every day in the mirror for months before the shift happened.

But imagine this. Just imagine yourself not going straight to “I’m stupid” but instead your mind instantly shifts to “I’m new and learning. Of course I am not perfect yet”. 

The mental shift will happen for you and your life will change in the best ways.

I will challenge you to do 3 affirmations and 3 things you are grateful for every single morning. You don’t need a journal. Though, if you want one, here are my recs.

No, you can quite literally write them in a note in your notes app. Easy peasy. No excuses.

Do IT. 

Thank me later. 

2 | Find Your Non-Negotiable’s

After you work on loving yourself from the inside out, you gotta find your ground.

Your non-negotiable’s.

These are a couple things you do every day for the sake of your well being.

They are your core habits that get you to where you want to be. They should be easy at first. If you don’t think three is attainable, start with one. I know you personally know of “good” habits you could do for your own well being. Take a look at them and pick yours. 

For example, my first few I started with were:

• Take my meds at the same time everyday
• Outside time every day
• No coffee after 12pm

You gotta make these things attainable. And smart.

Some smart non-negotiable’s could include:

They all have their reasons. As for my own, I knew I’d feel best mentally if I took my meds at the same time every day as they’d be most effective that way. 

Getting outside? Good for the brain. Don’t hold myself to what kind of outside time or for how long, because let’s be real, some days you have time and others you don’t. Realistic is key here. 

Then no coffee after 12pm came in after learning that coffee in the afternoon affects your sleep. You might think “oh but I can still fall asleep”. Yes, but how restful is your sleep? Mine was awful. Couldn’t stay asleep and never felt rested. Stopped coffee in the afternoon and I sleep through the night now nearly every night and my sleep score is perfect. Most of the time anyway.

Just a few things to keep in mind. 

3 | Listen To Your Doctor

I hate this one. To my core hate this one. But it works. And works too well to leave off this mental glow up guide.

Unfortunately, doctors know their stuff. Their stuff is backed by science. It’s not just bullshit.

Wish it was. 

But as it turns out, daily sunshine, getting enough water, eating your fruits and vegetables, and all that other stuff actually aids in feeling better.

I know. I fought it. Fought it hard.

But here I am years later and I wish I would have listened to my doctor sooner.

Some things your doctor might tell you to incorporate or eliminate from your life could include:

The biggest help for me was getting sober. Now, I won’t get on my soapbox of sobtriety today, but I will tell you my life dramatically shifted once I cut all substances from my life. Even nicotine. For once, I was able to see clearly. Really work on myself. 

Turns out I was numbing myself into feeling “okay”. 

I wasn’t okay at all. I was a depressed, anxious mess. 

The real work came after getting sober, and adding in those doctor recommendations helped.

Might be a good option for you, my little internet bestie.

4 | Finding Your Boundaries

Now, this is a tough one. One that I had to learn the hard way.

I feel like boundaries are another one of those hot topic mental health topics, and at that, one that is taken way too seriously.

Should you stand up for yourself? Yes. Should you create a safe environment for yourself? Yes. But to what extent?

When I was going through my dramatic shift post-divorce, I had a few arguments with my best friend group. At the time, I was learning what boundaries were. I took things way too far.

After a fight, I decided I wasn’t going to exert myself explaining how I felt further and I was going to let go of my best friends. One being my life long best friend. I thought I was putting up boundaries and standing firm in my own thoughts and feelings.

Wrong.

I let go of my support network. And at that, in a way that was nearly irrepairable. 

Two years later I was able to reconnect with my life long best friend after some groveling. The other two? I don’t think I will ever be able to gain their forgiveness for how I let our friendship disinigrate.

All that to say, take the boundaries thing at face value. Yes, find your ground. Stand firm in it. But also know when to let the walls down a bit.

Really take into account who you are deciding to let go of from your life if it comes to that. I regret standing firm.

5 | Celebrate Small Wins

Inside of your mental health glow up, I am going to recommend that you celebrate everything.

Every little thing.

You were able to accomplish your non-negotiables today? Celebrate! Any amount of progress is worth celebrating and will keep you moving forward.

These celebrations do not have to be massive things. You could even keep score like your parents likely did with your chore chart growing up. Make yourself a little check list. If you accomplish X amount of “stars” in a week, give yourself a small celebration over the weekend.

Make it fun!

But do not make it about getting down on yourself over failures.

An old therapist of mine once told me a story about a client of hers getting sober. They got down on themselves because they had made it three weeks without a drink, but caved on that third week. They felt like a failure. 

My therapist said, instead, that they were successful. They had never gone without a drink over the course of three weeks before. That was something to celebrate! Maybe they could make it four weeks next time.

That is where the progress lies and where the celebrating comes into play!

You don’t have to solely celebrate when you hit your overall goallist Every step to get there counts!

I made you your own little sticker tracker to work toward your goals. Download it below!

6 | Making a Difference

Can you see how these small things play a bigger role in the overall “glow up” you might be looking to achieve? 

They lay that foundation to really be able to accomplish all that you read about in Atomic Habits (I think we can all agree we want to live a life centered around his teachings, right?).

Or be able to finally accomplish that “that girl” routine you have saved to your dream life Pinterest board.

These steps will get you there.

The mental glow up will get you there.

You just have to start small. 

Work internally. Learn to love yourself and be grateful for your life.

Then work on the foundation of your life; your non-negotiables.

After that comes listening to your doctor and doing their recommended bits for becoming the healthiest version of yourself on the inside. Brain health is so important.

Then finding your ground. Establishing who and what gets to play a part in this new life of yours.

Celebrating every step of the way is the obvious next step.

Then comes rolling it all together. 

Are you ready to build your own dream life?

Thought so. 

This is how you get there.

But, if you feel like you need a deeper dive into how to get started and feel like you are starting from ground zero, my Ground Zero Kit is the one for you. It lays out seven core steps that outline how to pick yourself up off of the ground so that you can begin working toward becoming the person you want to be. The dream version of yourself. 

If you got it though, I am so happy. That was my goal! 

If you have been going through the motions, spiraling, or telling yourself you will “start Monday,” this is your sign. The Girl, Get Up Challenge gives you one doable action a day so you can rebuild momentum without pressure. It counts even if your win is brushing your teeth.

For a friend that checks in weekly, join my Weekly Coffee Chat for a good, real, and raw Sunday coffee read.

I hope you found value in this post! Make sure to Pin it for later for, ya know, when you need a refresher and a little nudge along your journey.

Build that foundation, babe.