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Pictures aren’t everything.
I know it’s easy to get sucked into the image. You know, what people blast all over social media.
I’m no stranger to it, I do the same thing. But honestly I am just as much of an overwhelmed twin mom as you are.
This crap is exhausting, and I think the reason I post the “good stuff” is because I don’t want to remember the bad stuff. The bad stuff is freaking HARD. And honestly, the last thing I am doing during a major meltdown is recording it all. I am more likely thinking to myself “FUCK. Just STOP!” while wanting to run away.
Twins aren’t something I ever expected, nor was really prepared for. So every day is a learning experience. And I’ll get the hang of something, just for them to switch it up on me again. Like their favorite thing to do right now it seems is to go from happily playing to screaming bloody murder in .7 seconds.
Just like that.
And it really makes me sit there and wonder what the hell I am doing wrong.
Am I really this bad at the whole parenting thing??
I had one of these days this past week. I had just had it and could feel my blood boiling inside of me and I let them cry (FOR NO REASON) while I made up two bottles, and then walked them to their cribs to lie down for a “time out”. More a time out for myself, but whatever.
I needed to walk away.
And they cried. And cried. So I did what I always do and called my mom.
I told her how I was feeling, that I felt like I was a horrible mom because it seems like all they do is cry and whine.
You know what she said?
She told me that I am by no means a bad mom. I am an overwhelmed twin mom. I have TWO babies constantly grabbing my legs, needing to be fed, wanting to play, needing a bath. And neither of them can tell me those things. They don’t know how to communicate yet. So instead,
I have two crying, whiney babies just trying to get their needs across.
Well fine. I guess that makes sense. It doesn’t make it any less hard. But this day also happened to be Halloween and I felt so bad for not wanting to go out and do anything. I was exhausted, irritable and did NOT feel like hiking the kids out.
You know what she said?
They don’t know.
They don’t know what day it is and they don’t know that they’re “missing out” on anything. All they know is you. They just want time with you.
Now maybe if they were a little older it would be different. They would realize the day and want to go out. But there is always ways around it; at least ways to try. Offer to just buy them candy. Watch a movie. Have a pajama and pizza night. Something to stay home and keep your cool.
Something about just talking with my mom always makes everything better. I can get back in the zone and feel a little less like an overwhelmed twin mom.
Here are a few of my favorite lessons learned from her in regard to parenting thus far:
- You can’t do this on your own. Always ask for help
- They don’t know what they’re missing out on. It’s okay to postpone a holiday or event for your sanity.
- You need a break daily, just like with any job
- It will get easier (I’ve been told it does around 3??)
- You are doing the best with what you have
- You need your tribe. Find good friends and don’t let them go
- All they need is you.
Let that sit with you.
I know what it is like to be overwhelmed and I know that it isn’t always easy to remember these things when you are.
When you’ve just had it.
But all you can do is your best, like with anything else in life.
I wish you the best, mamas!
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Thanks for sharing! I am not a twin mom but I have a baby boy who is 7 months and I also nanny a 8 month old boy. It feels like I have twins and today I just had a rough day. Questioning myself if I can continue to do this. I came across your article and it made me feel good to realize we all don’t have it together! Thanks for sharing.