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In two years with twins, I have learned more about myself than anything else.
Today is my twins second birthday. This time last year, I wrote this post about what I had learned in one year with twins.
That post was filled with tips for twin moms all about how to handle life with twins during the first year. But thinking back on their second year, I am realizing I learned more about myself than I did simply life with twins.
I learned how to better handle myself inside of life with twins.
And I have found that most blog posts about tips for twin moms focus around how to handle life with twins, not really how to handle yourself inside of the crazy life.
Which trust me, is a major learning curve. It took me a lot of trial and error to find what works and what doesn’t. And of course I am still learning.
But at this point in time, if I could share anything with you, it would be these couple things.
Tips for Twin Moms
1. You might not be meant to be a SAHM.
Sometimes you can dream of something for years, just to get there and find that you hate it. I wanted to be a surgeon for the bulk of my childhood. I even went to a special school for it during high school. But as it turns out, I hate the medical field! It is not the kind of work that keeps me going and makes me happy.
Same goes for life as a stay at home mom. I wish I could do it, but I just can’t. I realize that sounds selfish, especially to those who wish they could be a SAHM but have to work. But that is who I am. I am not meant to be a SAHM. I am much happier as a working twin mom.
2. You can handle anything, but that doesn’t mean you have to.
This was a hard realization that took a lot of time to come to. I am huge on “you can with twins”, simply because I believe that as hard as they are, they shouldn’t stop you from living your life. But that doesn’t mean you have to do it all. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. Don’t have to stay late at that party, or make it to that friends house.
Just because you can, doesn’t mean you have to put yourself aside to make it happen.
3. Good moms ask for & take the help when they need it.
You are NOT incapable of mothering just because you need help. Everyone needs help. Learning and accepting that is what has led me to where I am now. You are a strong and good mom for realizing that you simply can’t do it all, and asking for help afterwards.
4. Twins aren’t as scary as you once thought.
The second year with twins helped me realize that twins really aren’t as scary as I once thought.
They’re tough. Don’t get me wrong. But life isn’t scary with them anymore. I know I can do it. I know you can do it too. Challenges will come and go, but you’ll make it through them.
5. You (SERIOUSLY) cannot pour from an empty cup. Especially for two.
One thing I took much more seriously during the twins second year was time to myself. Recharging is the only way I have it in me to conquer life with them and this part takes a great deal of communication with your partner. But you guys have to find a way to make things work. You need your time, and so do they.
But taking that self care time seriously is your key to mastering life with twins.
Handling life with twins is no easy feat. It is a constant learning curve. I hope these tips for twin moms helps you rock your twin mom life and keep up with the little nugs of yours.