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Staying in the hospital for the foreseeable future made me overly anxious.
If you are back for the final post of my birth story series- thank you for following along!
In the last post we left off with me being told I was expected to stay in my hospital bed until delivery. A long, anxiety filled road laid before me.
In this final birth story post- I will disclose what staying in the hospital for weeks was like, as well as what led to the early delivery of my twins.
Now- lets dive into the final part of my story!
Twin Birth Story- Part #3
Being told I had to stay in the hospital for weeks hit me hard. At first- the anxiety is what really hit me.
There was still SO much to do. And I worked myself up over it over and over again. Enough that it helped keep my BP high for days!
When I am anxious- I make lists. So the first thing I did to combat my anxiety was make a list of everything I needed to do.
I worked on the list all weekend long, so that Monday morning I could get cracking on it.
Everyone kept telling me to slow down, but I just couldn’t.
The first week in the hospital was the hardest. It was like getting over a hump. The hardest part was being away from my husband.
We normally spend most everyday together, eat all dinners together, sleep together every night. And now- that wasn’t an option. He had work, had to take care of the dogs after work, plus keep up on laundry, dishes, everything home- all while still trying to get to the hospital to spend time with me.
As much as it sucked for me- I know it sucked for him too.
If not just as much. He was constantly being pulled in every direction.
Aside from missing my husband, I also missed being in control. Staying in a hospital bed meant I am subject to nurses and doctors walking in 24/7. Doing this, or that. Wanting to make small talk (I HATE small talk). Not only was it exhausting, but it was aggravating.
Every nurse did things their own way, and my nurse would change every 12 hours. So every 12 hours I was on someone else’s schedule and it made me more and more angry.
Staying away from my family and friends was hard enough- but being woken up after finally getting some sleep at 5am everyday for blood draws during the first week was horrible.
When the first week came to an end, I started getting a lot more depressed than angry. Almost like the stages of grief now that I think about it.
What was really hard was when my husband left that Friday night to go home. I felt so lonely and sad and wanted to go home too. I prayed to get better and be able to go home.
Even though I knew that wasn’t a possibility.
After that one week mark- time seemed to go by a little faster. Probably because I had created a routine for myself.
I did the same things every day- got ‘up’ around 7am, ordered breakfast, did morning tests, ate breakfast, showered and dressed, ordered lunch around noon, played games and colored, maybe had a visitor, ordered dinner around six (or someone brought me good dinner!) and spent some time with my husband in the evenings before he went home for the night. Then I would try to get some sleep.
My mom visited on the weekends and she brought me TONS of treats. I would normally finish all of the goods by Monday or Tuesday. I was SO hungry during my pregnancy!
Then during the week a few friends would visit, but those days were almost too much. Every time someone would visit my BP would jump. Probably from all of the laughing. But there were a few times I almost lost visitor privileges because it put me in such danger zones.
Soon enough the 30, 31 and 32 week mark flew by. All doing the same thing. I watched a lot of TV in that hospital bed. TV and YouTube were my friends.
And then the weekend of my 32 week mark came.
This is when everything started to go back downhill.
I had been completely fine for about a week. No high blood pressures, babies monitoring just fine. It all just happened over night.
On Saturday, I woke up feeling sick. I was nauseous, and kind of dizzy. It went away as the day went on, so my nurses justified the cause to be pregnancy.
Then Sunday came. I woke up feeling really off. Something didn’t feel right. I was still feeling sort of sick, and I HURT. My stomach was hard and I started having what I later found out to be contractions. When the nurses did their rounds that morning, around 7:30 AM, I was hooked up on every monitor and all eyes were on me.
I just KNEW something was wrong.
The babies looked okay, but the monitors also showed I was having regular contractions. I was told to drink ice water and lay completely still to try and calm my body down.
After about an hour of contractions, my doctor decided to check and see if I was dilating at all. If I was- it was about to be baby time.
But turns out I was having non-productive contractions. The absolute WORST kind!
I mean, yes that was good news for my gestation of 32 weeks. But at the same time I was having the worst pain and nothing was happening from it.
My doctor ordered continuing monitoring and told me to call my husband because today might just be the day.
I was really scared. Once my husband got to the hospital, we decided to write a message to our families. Not necessarily saying about what was happening, just that if something were to happen we would let you know afterwards but we do not want any visitors in the mean time.
With how I was feeling- I wasn’t up for any amount of small talk with family and friends.
Evening came and my contractions stopped. I was still being monitored every couple hours but we thought all was good.
As it turns out, my body was calming just before the storm.
The next morning, I felt off again. I wasn’t having contractions, but my body did not feel right.
My doctor ordered all the tests that she could. I was being pricked, pulled and tugged all day long. Up until about 6pm.
That is when my doctor said it was baby time.
My blood pressure was through the roof and nothing would bring it down for more than a few minutes. I was starting to see spots, and I had a migraine all day long.
All symptoms of pre-eclampsia worsening.
My doctor told me to call my husband because it was go time.
While he made his way to the hospital, every nurse on the floor started to fly in and out of my room prepping me for an emergency c-section.
If you didn’t know, they even shave your, ya know, for a c-section! I didn’t know this and was very surprised. I was in such an anxious haze at this point that I just laughed the whole time she shaved me.
It’s probably awkward for them too, right?
Anyways, once I was prepped for my emergency c-section, my husband had arrived and everyone started wheeling me down to the OR where my babies would enter the world.
Everything that happened next seemed to happen SO slowly. But looking back- it feels like a blur.
My husband was told to wait outside the OR while I received an epidural so he could dress and scrub before coming in.
Oh my LORD. That epidural was horrible. They stuck the needle in wrong THREEEEEEE TIMES.
Ugh just thinking about it makes my back spasm all over again. I’m nauseous.
It took long enough that they had to give me a second numbing shot in my lower back. All while they were trying to get the stupid needle in, I was hunched over, clinging to an awesome nurse. She was wiping my forehead and neck with a cool rag and talking me through the pain
I was sweating BULLETS at this point and wanted everything off of me, everyone hands off of me. I just wanted to sit for a minute. But they wouldn’t let me have a break. Even after the THREE MISSED NEEDLES IN MY SPINE.
Finally. On the fourth try they got it in and it kicked in immediately. I was told to lay down on the surprisingly small table. I still wonder how I fit on the small table with as huge as I was.
My husband finally was able to come stand beside me and I felt some relief. He kissed my forehead and told me everything was going to be okay. The meds they gave me aside from the epidural were kicking in at this point so I was shaky and it was getting hard to talk.
Once I was numb enough not to feel anything from the neck down, my doctor started cutting. My husband kept one eye on me and the other on our twins being born.
They told me Caeden was coming first and he was out. I didn’t hear him cry for a few seconds. Chris says they were bringing him over to his incubator.
Finally he cried. I felt so relieved.
Then Kendall was brought out and she cried right away. Hearing both of them cry for the first time melted my heart and I started to cry as well.
Everyone assured me the babies were looking great, and Chris told me they were beautiful.
Chris kissed me goodbye and followed the babies to the NICU.
I wasn’t able to see them until the next morning.
Having to wait hours to see my babies for the first time was excruciating. I just wanted to hold them. Like every other mom is able to when her babies are first born! But with my current condition, I wasn’t cleared to go into the NICU.
After being sew up, wheeled back to my room, and getting some snacks to eat, I was ready to go meet my babies.
And finally, I was cleared to go see my babies.
Chris and my night nurse wheeled my hospital bed down to the NICU where I would meet my twins for the first time.
Caeden needed some help breathing, so I wasn’t able to hold him right away. But Kendall was doing awesome so their nurse laid her on my chest.
Oh there is NOTHING like that feeling of holding your babies for the first time.
If you are currently pregnant, with or without twins, I promise you every horrible pregnancy side effect is worth it. Anything you are going through right now is worth it. Even being stuck in the hospital.
This is where my birth story ends. It was kind of long, I know. But the experience was a long one!
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Thanks for following along, guys!