How to Find Your Self Love Language and Love Yourself Effectively

This post contains affiliate links that I earn a commission through. Thank you for supporting Twins and Coffee!

I’m sure most everyone at this point has heard about the five love languages, but have you wanted to learn how to find your self love language? Yes, a self-love language is totally a thing and it says SO much about what you need from yourself in order to thrive in life!

What is a Self Love Language

I am coming into this assuming you know what the five love languages are. If not, well, I’m sorry. Read more about the five love languages written by Gary Chapman here.

But I would think that if you are looking for information on self-love languages, we’re on the same page here and understand what they are relationship wise.

Let me tell you a secret- your self love language is (in my opinion) more important than your intimate relationship love language.

Yes, I said it.

Your self love language clearly lays out how to properly take care of yourself. Like, the ultimate guide to self-care if you will. If you are drowning in life, or just want to give yourself a pick-me-up, listening to your self love language will help you so. much.

Love languages are NOT just for relationships- our self love language tells us a lot about how we should treat ourselves for our own well-being could be the same or different

Let me ask you this: would you say you are kind to yourself? To your body? Mind? Soul?

If you do things like:

beat yourself up with self-sabotaging self-talk
regularly set yourself up for failure
give yourself incredibly unrealistic expectations
neglect your own body
or make intentional poor choices for yourself

Then you aren’y being kind to yourself at all.

And I won’t sit here and tell you I never do those things, because that would be a bold face lie.

I could probably win an award for my ridiculous self-destructive self-talk. I don’t think there is a person in this world who is meaner to themselves than I am. But with the help of learning my own self love language and putting myself in action to make sure my true needs are being met, I’m doing a lot better.

Seriously, a lot better.

How to Find Your Self Love Language

There are quite a few different little “quizzes” out there to help you identify your self love language.

The self love language quiz that I took was by OprahDaily.com and it asks questions such as “Which of these activities “fills your cup” most?“, “When you feel down, what helps?“, and “What do you consider an act of love?“.

I ended up finding out mine is what I thought it was (and what my romantic love language is), receiving gifts! I love treating myself in the smallest ways, whether it is a good coffee to start the day, a fun trip to the beach, or a new dinner.

Click here to take the test & see what yours might be or keep scrolling to read about each of the self love languages & how you can practice each of them.

Shop some of my favorite cozy self-love goodies:

self love language tips — *source: blessing manifesting.*com

I think you’ll love these!

Sign me up!

Self Love Languages and How to Support Yourself with Them

Physical Touch

Physical touch might be your self love language if you feel most like yourself after indulging in activities caring for your body.

Ideas for Supporting Physical Touch Love Language

pampering self with baths and lotions
massages
yoga
moving your body

Acts of Service

If you are deeply grateful for yourself and celebrate “past you” for accomplishing X task, acts of service might be your self love language.

What it is: basically anything that is of service to yourself. Think learning a new language or skill, chores or realistic things that bring you value (like cleaning the house) healthy meals, doctor apts

Ideas for Supporting Acts of Service Love Language

buying small gifts like candy or flowers
day trip to the breach on your own
trying out new experiences
making a doctors appointment
making a meal plan
setting (and sticking to) boundaries

Receiving Gifts

If the little things in life like a special candy bar at the grocery store or big (or small) experiences, receiving gifts might be your self love language.

Ideas for Supporting Receiving Gifts Love Language

buying small gifts like candy or flowers
day trip to the breach on your own
trying out new experiences
booking that dream trip
a celebratory meal or coffee after a win at work or at home with the kids

Quality Time

Spending time with yourself might be your self love language if you feel the most at ease and relaxed after a day surrounded by no one other than yourself.

Ideas for Supporting Quality Time Love Language

meditating
experiencing emotions
sticking to boundaries
hobbies
indulging in an evening with your favorite show/movie

Words of Affirmation

If you feel your best when you are being kind to yourself by the way you speak to yourself, words of affirmation might be your love language.

Ideas for Supporting Words of Affirmation Love Language

a lot of positive self-talk
mirror work
journaling
being your biggest cheerleader

How to Find Your Self Love Language and Love Yourself Effectively

What is a Self Love Language

Love languages are NOT just for relationships- our self love language tells us a lot about how we should treat ourselves for our own well-being could be the same or different