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How to Be a Confident Mom
When I ask you what a “confident mom” looks like, what comes to mind?
What does she look like? How does she talk? What does she wear? What does she do?
But most importantly, why didn’t you think of yourself?
What is holding you back from being the confident mom you KNOW you can be? What makes you different from the mom you were envisioning? Let’s talk about how to be a confident mom.
Disclosure: I am not a medical professional. All thoughts and opinions made on mentalhealthandcoffee.com are based on my life experiences and personal research & this post may contain affiliate links. Click here for my full disclosure.
My Own Journey to Self-Confidence in Motherhood & Learning How to Be a Confident Mom
Honestly, I’ve never been confident. I remember sitting on the swings in elementary school not wanting to do anything else simply because I didn’t have any sort of self-confidence. That lack of confidence led me through middle school and high school and onto adulthood. I gradually found myself a bit more along the way, but it wasn’t until I became a mom of twins that I found real self-confidence and learned how to be a confident mom.
That might sound backward because motherhood tends to push our confidence down through endless self-doubt, guilt, and so much more. But being a twin mom, I pretty much had to “fake it till I made it” which in turn helped me find my confidence.
Life with twins is busy. Really busy. You’re always go-go-going and if one baby doesn’t need you, the other does. With that comes learning how to quickly make a decision and stand by it. As a twin mom, you also come in contact with a LOT of unsolicited advice from others who know literally nothing about your situation with multiples, and you quickly learn to shove others opinions aside and do YOU.
That right there was the start of my journey to learning how to be a confident mom.
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How to Be a Confident Mom
I’d have to say, being a twin mom has really helped me become a confident mom. I don’t have time for other people’s shit and I have things to do. Here is some of my best advice for finding confidence in motherhood.
Understand Mom Guilt
The first thing you need to do on your journey to figuring out how to be a confident mom is to dive into mom guilt and truly understand where it comes from.
This is going to sound really deep, because it is. But sit down and really think about mom guilt. What is making you feel guilt in motherhood? Why does another mom suggesting you put your kids to bed earlier get under your skin and make you feel less than? Odds are, it’s because you’re struggling with accepting yourself and your own decisions. Which circles back to your confidence in motherhood and yourself.
Working through this and becoming a confident mom is absolutely possible for everyone. It just takes some self-reflection and understanding.
Take a moment to jot down on paper or in your phone the last couple times you felt “mom guilt”. What did another person say to you? How did you react? How did it make you feel?
Then ask yourself, why did I feel that way? And then, what can I do to feel better about this topic? Can you better educate yourself on car seat safety? Can you find it within yourself to trust yourself and recognize that the other person does not live your life?
From there, here is what you need to do.
Trust your Instincts
Obviously within reason, but seriously. Trust them! You do know what to do. Even from the beginning.
Forget Suzie, Brenda, and Brittany’s “advice”. If it’s not about safety, (ie. car seats, baby-led weaning, etc) walk away. You don’t need it. You know your kids, your situation, and your lifestyle. Don’t let their opinions get to you. Say “no thank you” and move along.
Find Good Mom Friends
My #1 tip to becoming a confident mom is finding a set of good mom friends. Even one will have you set. Find moms who hold the same values as you, lift you up, encourage you, and most of all, love your kids like their own. I know they get a bad rep, but you can meet some really beautiful people in your local mom groups. You can also meet new moms through story-time, park trips, or any sort of local events.
Tiktok even offers a great place to build connections with other moms. I met my BEST friend through social media. Tiktok is special in that it only shows you other accounts and people who you have things in common with (well, usually). So odds are that you’ll meet some moms who are just like you if you start interacting on the platform (you don’t have to post if you don’t want to, simple comments are good enough to start a friendship).
The confident mom you aspire to be is in you, you just gotta find her.
Hopefully the advice and tips I’ve shared help you find your way.